


One Slip Up

by SnugglyKuriboh27



Series: One Slip Up [1]
Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Barry is mentioned but will not be active in this, Diapers, Intrusive Thoughts, No Slash, Non-Sexual Age Play, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pacifiers, littlespace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-07
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-01-10 08:29:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12295311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnugglyKuriboh27/pseuds/SnugglyKuriboh27
Summary: There was a schedule. Work, rest, maybe sneak in a meal here or there. On the rare day off she would maybe allow herself to slip into headspace. Not too deep. Just enough to make sure she didn’t breakdown at work.And it worked, for a while. She’d always feel better after she woke up.Maybe that was why she slipped.





	1. Chapter 1

There was a schedule. Work, rest, maybe sneak in a meal here or there. Most of the time Arin would have to pull her away from work to eat. On the rare day off she would maybe allow herself to slip into headspace. Not too deep. Just enough to make sure she didn’t breakdown at work.

  
And it worked, for a while. After coloring, she’d cuddle her Stitch plush and just sleep on the couch with a pacifier in her mouth. The TV on as background noise. She’d always feel better after she woke up.

Maybe that was why she slipped. Maybe it was that she had gotten too used to the cycle. Something was bound to go wrong. Or maybe it was a mix of things. She had been fighting headspace for a good month, not really speaking to anyone lest she start crying from the effort, passing out immediately after she laid down.

But the tipping point?

Arin raging at another video game.

It was usually easy to avoid him. While they were good friends, everyone at the office knew Haniya and yelling just didn’t mix. She was timid, easily startled, and flinched whenever someone raised their voice or moved too fast. But she was a damn good assistant. She made herself fit wherever she was needed, whether it was running errands, editing, or simply picking up coffee. She was the first to lend a shoulder to cry on and the last to judge anyone.

She wasn’t the target of Arin’s rage. She just happened to walk into the room just as he threw his controller across the room. It didn’t hit her, but it was close enough to make her jump. And everything fell into place.

Headspace threatened to take over. It took everything in her not to run. She ignored everyone trying to grab her attention. She needed to get home. Already she could feel the sting of tears in her eyes. Arin called out for her, but it was easy to ignore.

It’s a wonder she didnt crash on the way home - home being the small apartment she had rented. She managed to make it to her bedroom and get herself situated.

Diaper for safety (even if she was never deep enough to actually use it), pacifier, Stitch doll within arm’s reach, coloring supplies on the nightstand, and a cartoon channel on for background noise. It was easy to forget and just let herself go.

It was just as easy to forget that Arin had a spare key to her house.

It was just as easy to ignore that he _would_ come after her since she had a tendency not to answer her phone when she was hurting.

It was just as easy to block out the screaming in her head when she looked up to see Arin staring at her with wide eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

This...This wasn’t what he was expecting when he walked into her bedroom. Crying? Yes. Panicking in a ball on the floor? Almost certain. But _this_?

This made him almost walk out the room and go back in to make sure his eyes weren't playing tricks. Still, he blinked a few times to make sure he was actually seeing his close friend dressed up like, well, a _baby_.

He walked in slowly with his hands up, lest he scare Haniya even more. But she didn't _look_ scared right now. In fact, her eyes looked…..blank. She didn't seem to have a care in the world.

Did she even know who he was?

“H-...Haniya?”

His voice was soft, but his only response was a bob as she sucked on her pacifier( _a pacifier for fuck's sake!_ ). He decided to continue anyway.

~~~~~

“You okay?”

No. No, she wasn't okay. No one was supposed to find out. Thus was supposed to be her time to relax, not be trapped in her uncooperating body, screaming and panicking trying to sort through combating emotions. She wanted him to leave. She wanted to be alone. She wanted to start today over so she wouldn't slip. Her thoughts screamed that Arin would finally see that she's a freak and would leave her.

But she also wanted Arin to stay. Maybe keep talking in that soft voice he was using. Maybe even cuddle! Yes. That'd be perfect. But she couldn't talk.

So Haniya just shrugged and looked away. Because knowing Arin, he'd sit down next to her and offer comfort.

And she's right. Although he's slow, he eventually sat down and eyed her up and down. He could definitely see the top of the diaper poking out from under her pants.

She moved a little to the side to make room for him. Arin, bless his soul, immediately understood and moved to sit next to her.

He didn't say anything. He seemed immersed in the show, but anyone who bothered to look again could see he was just thinking.

Arin wasn't usually this quiet, but since he wasn't yelling Haniya didn't care. In fact, she took the chance to lean against him. An arm draped over her shoulders and she gladly accepted the half-hug. They stayed like that for a while, long enough for Haniya to almost doze off.

But then credits rolled around, and the TV was muted. Arin gently prodded his friend and she sat up. Now was the time to talk. She could manage to at least _type_ her responses, right?

~~~~

It was the cuddling that kept him calm. Normally he'd be yelling, or at the very least freaking out. But Haniya would usually shed away from contact especially from the one who scared her.

And when she willingly leaned her head against him his heart swelled. To have her complete trust in that moment made him settle down and just enjoy it.

But he still need to know what the _fuck_ was going on.

It took everything in him to nudge her awake. He wanted nothing more than to stay there and let her sleep. Poor girl clearly needed it.

He gave her a moment, but before he could open his mouth she handed over her phone.

_‘NSAP….Age Regression?’_

This was gonna take longer than he thought...


	3. Chapter 3

As he read on, it became clearer that this wasn't a kink. Just a way to relax? _‘Child-like mindset, coping mechanism for anxiety, depression, PTSD….’_

It was clear Haniya had been doing this for a while now. Why she didn't tell anyone was obvious. The Daddy Kink would have make it hard for her to open up and find someone to take care of her. And while he hadn't heard of it being used like this, he had guessed that many of the elements were the same. One party would act like a child while another would look over them, make sure they weren't doing anything dangerous. But Haniya seemed to be used to being alone…. 

This makes his eyes widen and he looked up. “You don't have a caretaker, do you.”

Haniya seemed scared as she shakes her head. Seems she was pretty young. At least, she would be if she allowed herself to slip further.

Why was she so uncomfortable? Arin had made no move to hurt her in the time he's been here ( _‘Has it really been two hours?’_ ), and she knew he wouldn't judge. This was by far the least weird thing he’s seen. Unless….

He grinned. Haniya was never good at asking for things if she thought she would be a bother. “You want me to be your caretaker?”  
She couldn't hide the way her eyes light up. Or the way she almost nods. Instead she forced herself to look away and shrug.

“You don't have to decide now. But think about it, okay? I won't judge either way.”

This she _does_ nod at, looking as if she was longing for something. It doesn't take a genius to know what. Arin opens his arms. “Can I give you a hug, baby?”

He can hear the little gasp she makes. That's enough consent for him. He’s glad the pet name didn't set her off. The happy little hum that sounds when his arms wrap around her makes his heart swell.

~~~~~

That went _way_ better than she thought it would. It was almost too good to be true! But she needs to actually talk. And if he decided to still take care of her after this?

Well that'd be a dream come true.

The quiet helps to pull herself out of headspace. It's warm in Arin’s arms, and she wants to stay in them forever. Thankfully, Arin helps her sit up, holding her hand for moral support.

Words were still hard, but she doesn't have to speak above a soft volume.

“Don't tell anyone….”

Arin isn't surprised.

“Of course I won't. I mean, I have to tell Suzy, but she'll _love_ you.”

 _Two_ caretakers!? But what if she got mad… What if she didn't like it? What if she thought it was disgusting….

“She…..” Haniya trails off, not having the strength to voice her fears.

“Hey. We won't tell her right away. But it'll be a lot easier if she knew.”

That made sense. Suzy deserved to know why her husband would be spending so much time with someone else. And if she decided to join in, if she was really okay with this, Haniya would have a Baba _and_ a Mommy!

Lost in her imagination, it's a good few minutes before she notices Arin staring at her.

“....Well?”

“No tickling.”

Arin perks up but doesn't interrupt.

“No yelling. I'm gonna….need you to be patient. Scolding is enough, uh… I-I’m well behaved...” It was hard to try to list everything off the top of her head. Thankfully, Arin chimes in.

“Give me a list, okay?” He squeezes her hand and Haniya nods, grateful for the alternative. With talking she'd only hold back. A list would let her think and organize.

“Anything else?”

“N-No hitting…?”

It breaks Arin's heart, the way the words sound like begging. Haniya always shied away from the topic of her family, and everyone made sure not to push when it was clear she didn't want to talk about it.

So Arin simply puts a hand on her cheek, noting the way she leans into it. “I'd _never_ hit you. _Ever_. And if I ever do something wrong, or something you don't like, tell me, okay?”

Her nod isn't much.

But it's a start.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much happens in this chapter.

It was decided that Arin would tell Suzy alone. The pressure would only send Haniya back into headspace and leave her stressed out for days. Any questions would be asked when Haniya could be convinced that Suzy wouldn't hate her.

The next day at the grump space was fairly normal. A half assed explanation of how Arin just spooked her and how she was already a bit stressed (ha, understatement) and Haniya was back at work. Editing, grabbing coffee, picking out which games Arin had wanted, all her usual stuff. Things were running smoothly. And now that Arin knew, Haniya kept some extra supplies in her bag, just in case. Not that she ever planned to slip at work, but it was good to be prepared.

Three days pass before Arin tells Suzy.

Her reaction was to be expected. Freaking out, then, after a bit of explaining, pity for ‘her new baby’. She yearned to ask questions. ‘What is it like? When did it start? Would I get to take care of her? How does it work? How young is she?’

Arin kept Suzy calm by answering the questions as best as he could. ‘I wouldn’t know. I don’t know but probably a while. Yeah, once she’s comfortable enough. I guess she just….breaks when she’s too stressed? I’m guessing around two? She wasn’t that deep, but she had a fucking diaper on. So yeah, like a quiet two year old?’

And Suzy all but squealed.

She thinks Haniya doesn’t notice her stares. She doesn’t know that Haniya is hyper aware of all the looks Suzy is giving her. She’s just seeing if Haniya needs a break, that’s all.

Three more days pass.

Haniya is panicking. She isn’t supposed to regress for while, a week at best. She had been Little just a few days ago! So why is she feeling so _small_? The bigger part of her wants to go home. Maybe take a nap. Look up some videos about birds to make her happy. But the smaller part….

The smaller part of her wants to go to Arin.

That’s how she finds herself knocking on his office door, after she’s sure he isn’t busy. Baba would calm her down, right? Baba would know what to do. And she almost hates that she already thinks of him as Baba.

Suzy opens the door. Okay. Not what she was expecting, but she could work with this, right? After all, Arin had told her everything and let Haniya know what happened. Suzy was okay with it!

But words were hard, and when Suzy asks her a question it doesn't register. Before she can apologize for zoning out, she hears a soft voice from further inside of the room.

“....Haniya?”

There's Baba!

The way she perked up is what prompted Suzy to let the baby in. Immediately Haniya goes with weak legs to sit on Arin's lap, and to say that he's surprised is an understatement. But he still holds her tight so she won't fall.

“What's up? Feeling little?”

Haniya just shoves her face into his shoulder and shrugs. But that isn't fair to him. He doesn't know what to do based on a shrug. He’s new to this, too.

So she struggles to utter a single word.

“Off…..”

But Baba doesn’t seem to understand.

“Feeling off? That’s no fun, is it.”

See! Suzy gets it!

Haniya whines and shakes her head. No, it wasn't fun at all. It kept her from working and she couldn't have that! Suzy can’t help but coo.

“Do you wanna go home, hon? We can swing by your place and pick up some stuff.”

Did she? She wasn't feeling that little. Just….tired? No. Drained. She needed to just not think for a while.

And so she shakes her head again. There was no need to go home when she just needed….

Needed….

What did she need again?

“Okay, honey. Okay. Stay with me now.”

Everything was fuzzy after that. At one point Suzy had gone to get her bag in case it was needed. But it wasn’t. She just ended up zoning out in Arin’s lap for about a half hour.

Suzy thought it adorable, the way Haniya rubbed her eyes and made tired little noises as as she ‘woke up’. With a hug given to Arin, then Suzy, she gets back to work.

It’s after the door shuts that they look at each other.

“Was she….”

“No. But she might be soon.”

A week later, Arin is proven right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's been a while since I updated. Sorry about that. Life is kinda meh right now but I'm typing whenever I can soooo....yeah.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haniya's first major plunge into headspace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So college is fun (note the sarcasm)

It's usually obvious to know that you need a break. You start to feel tired or down, so you call it a night. Get some rest and try again tomorrow. Or even take a day off to unwind if you can, a nice bath or an outing to take your mind off things.

And sometimes it sneaks up on you. You think you're fine. The day is going wonderful, so why wouldn't you? Everything is ‘a-okay’. More than ‘a-okay’! The day is going great and there’s nothing wrong! But then you crash. You realize you're all out of energy and you're sitting in the corner of a closet trying not to cry. It’s lonely, and everything is scary, and you don't like it, but no one knows so you're left to try and form an escape plan.

Closet, bathroom, same thing. Both are small, and both have locks most of the time. That’s where Haniya finds herself, in the bathroom with the door locked trying to quiet her sobs. Why did everything have to be so _hard?_ It was just her normal workload, too, so it shouldn't even be that difficult! But here she is crying on the floor like a pathetic baby.

_‘Because I'm weak.’_

_‘Because I can't do anything right.’_

_‘I'm trying.’_

_‘Try harder.’_

_‘I’m doing the best I can.’_

_‘Not good enough.’_

She needs…. She needs to get up…. Someone might knock….

_‘So what? They already know how pathetic you are..’_

It's a spiral that she can't get out of. Insecurities crashing down, trying to get back up by saying she's trying, that she needs to get up, then the bitter realization that she's screwing up again.

And it never stops.

It never….

_‘Want Baba….’_

~~~~

It's Barry who first notices. It’s the middle of the day. Haniya left her station half an hour ago, which isn't like her at all. Plus they have tons of raw files to go through, so she needs to come back ASAP.

Didn't she say she needed to go to the bathroom?

So he walks over. It’s locked, of course. That, and the sound of quiet sobbing prompts him to go get the key from Arin. He isn't quite sure what to do when he's told ‘I got this’, but he trusts his gut that Arin will handle it and gets back to work.

He’s concerned when he's told that Haniya has to take the day off. He doesn't ask. He'll either get an answer later or they'll all move on. Answers would come with time. Then he groans at his workload.

Better get started....

~~~~

Arin manages to text Suzy that he's probably going to be out for the rest of the day on his way to the bathroom. He locks the door behind him, facing his obviously not okay co-worker.

Curled up in the corner and shaking.

_‘Okay, Arin. It’s go time.’_

He doesn't miss how her eyes are blank as he walks over. Nor does he miss those tears running down her cheeks as he kneels down in front of her.

“Haniya?”

There's a small flicker in her eyes. Her tears seem to fall faster.

“Baby girl?”

“Baba….”

He doesn't need more prompting. The sound of her broken voice makes Arin pull her towards him and hold her tightly. She was a short little thing, over a foot smaller than him. 

She looks even smaller curled up like that.

For a while they just sit there, Arin rocking Haniya back and forth gently while murmuring in her ear that everything would be okay, to let it all out, asking her if she could tell him what was wrong. He can only get her to bubble put two words before he has her taking deep breaths.

So she burnt out, huh.

He manages to get the tears to stop just long enough for them to book it to her car. The ride home consists of Haniya clinging to Arin's hand, as if he'll disappear if she doesn't.

It's when they get to the door of her apartment that her legs give out. Arin yelps in surprise but manages to lift her up into his arms before her knees can hit the ground. Locking the door behind him and heading to Haniya’s room, Arin racks his brain for the list he and Suzy had gone over so many times it was practically memorized, picking out what was relevant for right now.

-No tickling

-Don’t yell

-Background noise like the TV is appreciated (but if an animal dies I will be very upset)

-Diapers are worn for safety but I’ve never actually used them

-No means No, especially if I’m crying

-All my stuff is in my room in the small corner closet

-Talk me through what you’re gonna do

-Cuddles and praises are appreciated

_‘Okay, Arin. You can do this. Background noise….’_

“It’s okay, baby. It’s alright. We’re home now. Let’s go see what you have, yeah?” That seemed to help. So did Arin shifting her to one arm with ease. And the noise of surprise she let out made him laugh. She was reduced from a sobbing mess to a crying mess.

Haniya’s ‘supplies’ were hidden behind pads and oils, making them easy to miss. What also made them easy to miss was how little she had. As Arin pulls them out, he grimaces. A package of diapers (that were almost done), two pacifiers, and a dusty old teething ring.

_'Is that really it?'_

Giving the barely calm little a sad glance, Arin grabs a diaper and lays her down carefully on the floor. After a moment of thought, he carefully steps over and grabs Stitch off the bed, handing it down to his sniffling editor.

“Okay, sweetie. I’m just gonna put this on you, then we’ll go watch TV, okay? There we go.”

A change of clothes also seemed to be in order as well. After he manages to strap her in and get her clothes changed, surprisingly without the fight he was expecting to get, Arin gathers Haniya back into his arms and walks back to the living room, pacifier in hand. He speaks in a slightly silly voice as he walks.

“You did such a good job! We’re gonna have to get you more stuff. Yeah! Mommy and I are gonna take you shopping!”

Haniya lets out a small giggle at his comically wide eyes and open mouth. Baba was here. He’d make it better. He even knew to put her in soft pajamas! How did he know that? Baba was magic. With this fact, Haniya lays her head on Arin’s chest, sighing in content. The TV provided background noise, as did Arin’s beating heart.

With Stitch in her arms and Baba at her side, Haniya could finally relax and let the fog take over her head.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a backstory. Got tired of waiting for my laptop to be fixed and just typed the whole damn thing on my phone. Comments are appreciated, as always ^w^

There was once a time where Haniya truly wondered if something was wrong with her. On top of always being shy, crying under pressure, and her crippling social anxiety, she often had moments where she just felt….small. She would go quiet, keep her gaze down even when no one else was in the room, curl in to feel safe.

Her head would go quiet. It was a nice break from her rampant thoughts about how she’d never survive, no matter what she did. But she often didn’t notice when it started. Or, well, she _did_ , but it never clicked until after she came out of her haze.

After that she started wondering if she was truly okay. If she was actually scarred by all the yelling her mom and grandma did. Duck your head down, don’t talk back, don’t make a mistake, don’t do anything they don’t like….

It wasn’t something she could tell her therapist. What could she say? ‘There’s times where I feel like a little kid and I think my family is to blame’? No. She couldn’t say that. After all, her problems weren’t that big of a deal...right? But that was back when she had a therapist.

It got better after she moved out. No one was there to judge her when she woke up tired, or expect the same rehearsed response when she literally couldn’t bring herself to speak. Yeah, the silence of the empty apartment wasn’t good for her anxiety, but that could be fied with videos on her phone. It felt so _good_ to not have to worry about appearances.

Eventually she found the fanfics. The ones that had people acting like children, under the watch of a trusted friend, simply because they could. They made her a little uncomfortable, but it was the closest thing she had that explained what she felt. It had every feeling she had down to a ‘t’, aside from the sex. She started to get bored, though. It was a hassle to skip all the way down to the two paragraphs that just barely covered headspace without any lewd dialogue.

It wasn't until a former friend had asked her for help finding reading material that she stumbled onto something called ‘nsap’. Everything to do with headspace, and comfort, and feeling loved, with none of the sex.

She found the author’s blog. Found out that what she was feeling wasn’t really anything to be disgusted by. Found out that there was an actual term for it. Found out that it was okay to sometimes need to be looked after, to be a kid again sometimes. It was a relief to know why she often found herself zoning out and coming to with a quiet head….

She didn’t want to become too reliant on it. Headspace was reserved for once every month or two, depending on her workload. And even then, she never let herself drift too far. No one would be there to clean her up, or hug her and tell her that everything would be okay, and the further she stayed away from headspace the less she felt like crying over it.

But it was nice, having Arin there to help her. And when Arin woke her up from her nap she found herself feeling refreshed. It was about six in the evening, they had left the grump space around 1:30 that morning. About four hours of being little…. Honestly, she didn’t realize how much she’d enjoy it.

Arin had held her throughout the entire time, only stopping when she pulled away or needed something. He was patient when she couldn't voice what she wanted, and he asked questions to help her narrow it down. He never once raised his voice or got mad, nor did he once seem to look uncomfortable throughout the whole thing!

Arin had made her chicken nuggets from the freezer, and she had made sure not to make a mess while eating. And when she was finally tired enough to rest, Arin had wrapped an arm around her and spoke softly until she had drifted off.

He must have moved her to her bedroom at some point. That's where she found herself as Arin woke her up. They hugged, Haniya changed her clothes and disposed of the unused diaper, and drove Arin home.

It was midnight when she decided to force herself to try to go to sleep. The smile hadn't left her face the whole day.

If only the dread of facing everyone at work didn't keep her up at night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on tumblr! @SnugglyKuriboh27


	7. A/N

So! A little bit about why there hasn't been an update in a while. College and homework decided to kick my ass and I have no free time to do anything. So while I'm not abandoning this fic, I am breaking it down into a series to make it easier on myself. I can't promise exact dates on uploads but feel free to ask me questions on my tumblr!  
Thank you so much so sticking with me! Til next time <3!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out my tumblr! @SnugglyKuriboh27


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